Red shoes, No knickers

What lies beneath Archive



June 2013



Out with the old…


Now you know me my Shoelets…You really do.

I don’t like to give up on things. If there is a new lease of life to be had on a piece of clothing then I am offering that life with a willing hand ~ I love a dying session, a reworking of a piece or a complete transformation…BUT when my tired old sports bra missed the dying session for these two beauties {here and here} because it was draping itself over a heeled brogue, I took it as a sign that she had had her day and that I was to move onto pastures new…..pastures filled with leopard print sports bras that make me want to work harder at the sweaty yoga place I frequent.

Knowing when it’s time to say goodbye is hard but sometimes essential.

Adious tired white bra…you held my tittties well over the years and for that I thank you.


{new leopard print bra per~chased from here}


Posted in Wardrobe work, What lies beneath



May 2013



Peachy treats


As I mentioned here my underwear drawer is in dire need of an injection of sexual summit summit. Every time I open it up I feel like I’m looking into a barrel of second hand knickers in a charity shop.  To describe them as the dregs would be an understatement. NOT ANYMORE! I headed to M&S with my £5 voucher from when I took my pieces in for Schwopping and treated myself to some basics {a pack of massive apple catchers and a pack of thongs. black. cotton. staple. love ’em} as well as this peach sweet dream of a treat.



You know I love anything peach and a matching set with a discount is even better.

‘What’s the point in telling us about a discount that’s past and gone?!?’

I know! Seems stupid doesn’t it? Almost as if I’m rubbing your noses in it?

I’M NOT!!!! I would never do that my Shoelets….there’s still a chance to get some mullar off your new undies.

Head to any M&S & pick up one of their little brochures like below. On the back is the chance to get £5 off when you spend £30 or more on underwear…YEAHHHHHH!!!! Back in the game!


Offer last until Wednesday 22nd May so hurry on down.

I’m getting my second lot of lingerie with this discount too.

Winner, winner my new underwear makes me look like a sinner! YEAH!

Posted in La Peche, Schwopping, What lies beneath



April 2013



What lies to sleep

Carrying on from your wardrobe work that you undertook yesterday….did you? Have you emptied out and rid your knicker drawer of the old, grey hue, borrowed, stretched? I do hope so because it’s time to move on and address that other under garment issue that is perpetually overlooked.

The common or garden night clothing debate.


Personally I am a nightie person. I tried to convince myself in the 90’s that I liked wearing pj’s to bed because it was cool and all the other girls did it and by other girls I mean Sister With Massive Laugh did it. I was given a pair of tartan pj’s*, to move to boarding school in England, by my Mother when I was 15 and I resigned myself to the fact that girls wore a top and trousers to bed. Skip forward 5 years and I knew my sleeping attire had to change and I had to start wearing to bed what I liked, thought was sexy and felt comfortable in. Step forward the white cotton nightie/the satin sexy slip.


Now I know for a fact that these two options are not everyone’s cup of tea ~ many a time I have offered them to fellow female bed companions who have turned their noses up at my sweet gifts  ~ but the point I’m trying to make her my Shoelets is, AGAIN, let’s make a little bit of effort:

For ourselves, for our perma~bed~buddies, for our fleeting~bed~buddies, for our travels {again Paris should only ever see sexy night wear} and for warmth. Whether you like pj’s, shorts, jersy long sleeves, white cotton nighties, baby doll slips or simply a timid vest and nix ~ MAKE ‘EM GOOD UN’S

*OUT with the baggy, mismatched and discoloured *

*If it’s shapeless ~ it’s SHIT*

*If a Disney princess, cartoon character, cute animal, festive figure adorn your nightwear firstly seek help then take those garments to the garden and burn them {under 12 year olds can ignore this point}

*If your perma~bed ~buddy wants to rip off what you’re wearing {and not in a sexy loving kinda way} it needs to be ditched ASAP*

*If you’ve worn your night clothing for an entire day and it contains stains of food, pen and anything that secretes from the body ~ BIN IT!*

*If it’s too tight, too loose, too embellished step away from it*

There aren’t many exceptions but I will allow for a little sentimentally like the tee that you nicked from him/her when you first met or the over~sized shirt that came from the best summer of your life or… do as Marilyn Monroe did. When asked what she wore to bed she simply replied ‘Why, Chanel No.5, of course’

So tell me, What are you heading to bed in? 

*I still own the pj’s but I d.i.m.d.i‘d them and made them into a nightie 😉 Natch. Come’s me.

Posted in Did It Myself, Didn't I, Rise to the occasion, Tricks of the trade, Wardrobe work, What lies beneath



April 2013



What lies beneath


 {image of lovely ladies via here}

We all know what four boob syndrome is don’t we? When our boobs get too big for our bras and so we spill over the top of the bra and underneath a tight tee it looks like we have four boobs? Yeah. And we all know about VPL’s & hungry bums? Visible panty lines and knickers that ride up our sweet asses?

Well my dear Shoelets I am ashamed to say that I am being inflicted by all three off these complaints and I don’t know how I got here! I used to be good with underwear. Underwear was my thing. Every couple of months I was in my beloved M&S buying a matching set ~ 1 x bra, 1 x big pair of nix, 1 x thong ~ treating myself to a pack of 5 cotton undies, per~chasing a petticoat or 2. Time has passed and I took my eye off the well fitted bra and now I don’t remember the last time I went underwear shopping?! I think I might have been a brunette and been able to tick the under 30’s box.

I don’t know how this has happened but it has and when I went on my recent Snownix holiday I needed to take two pairs of nix for each day. One for skiing/no~boarding in and one for the evenings. So sparse was my collection of underwear that I resorted to taking period pants and my sexy time pants. This is not good people and needs to be addressed.

So. I’m handing out the same advice I give about coats.

Why spend so much time and effort {and money in some cases} on a great outfit and then cover it up with a shit coat. Reversal? Why spend so much time and effort on a killer outfit only to take it off and be faced with a grey bra from 1999 and a stained {I’ve said it girls! Blood stains! Never attractive} pair of elastic~less nix? WHY? Let’s not do this to ourselves, to our partners to our outfits that we’ve lovingly picked out.

To do list:

1. Head to your underwear drawer now. Stay strong. Be ruthless. Get rid of old, stretched, stained, ill fitting and uncomfortable underwear. It’s pointless just sitting there. You might be left with one bra and 3 pairs of nix but that’ll simply force you out to El Shoppo quicker.

2. Make a list of underwear that is a necessity ~ everyday nix {whether that be thongs, shorts, big gal briefs, mini’s, bikini’s} bra’s {underwired, t~shirt bras, push up, padded}, slips, petticoats, shapewear, tights, socks, suspenders.

3. Head to wherever you like to buy your underwear {Primark is not allowed} and spend time and effort in getting it right.

4. Get yourself sized for the right bra. SOOOOOO many of us wear the wrong size which is not good for comfort, the fit of clothes and for our posture. I tightened the bra straps of one of my clients last year and she saw her waist for the first time in 4 years. Made most of the clothes she already owned look amazing.

5. Buy things for yourself. Another of my clients shared a sock shelf with her husband. Not just that she borrowed his socks now and then. They buy socks for both of them to wear.  NO! NO! No this is not acceptable. NO!

Regardless of whether you’re stripping off for a lover, for an occasion {travelling to Paris should ALWAYS include fancy pants}, the gym ~ YEAH, give them something to look at ~ or simply to keep all our gorgeous, grabbable woman bits in one place…..make the effort. It’s worth it.

Believe me.

Posted in Wardrobe work, What lies beneath


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